Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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