i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
