she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
