once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
