i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
