Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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