Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
