You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You're a waste of cheezeits
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
