I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
