Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
