When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize