I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
