oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just gargled with NyQuil
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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