it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
