whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Randomize
