I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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