He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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