I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
