Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
