I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
