oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
