Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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