I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
