The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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