There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
