I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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