the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
