so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize