she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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