I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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