I'm really into asian looking animals
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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