i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Holy sore nipples Batman
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
