I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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