i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize