3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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