very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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