so explain again why im purple
no
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
