How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
