So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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