11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
