Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
