Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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