I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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