i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
