I just made out with a guy for $7.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It's blow job season.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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