omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize