this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
