i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
