Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
