He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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