my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
