i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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