By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
