The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
is it fun? or sober?
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