Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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