No stitches, just platelets and will power
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
