Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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