If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
