I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
True strength comes from lack of pants
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
