it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize