I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
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