the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
