I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize