Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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