Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
